Trang chủ
A rose for Le Trinh
Người viết: Thái Bá Tân   
15/10/2006


A short story by Thai Ba Tan
Translated by Manh Chuong
Editor: Paul. Vietnam News Sunday


It was ten to eight and the curtain bell was ringing inside the Municipal Theatre. The latecomers were coming by in a rush, climbing the stone steps to the iron door where a fat lady usher stood, urging everyone to go inside. At eight sharp, the iron door slammed shut. The usher stepped aside and cast a faraway vacant look into the night.

There were only a few people left in front of the theatre: some peddlers, a young man in military uniform straddling his bicycle with his feet lightly touching the ground, a young girl in a bright pink jacket walking back and forth, and me.

I wasn’t walking back and forth because I wasn’t nervous. And I wasn’t nervous because I wasn’t waiting for anybody. I was just unhappy because I couldn’t afford a ticket to hear a famous Russian pianist, an artist I greatly admired.

It was late February, just after Tet, and it was cold and drizzling. The streets were filled with yellow lights. The young man left on his bicycle. The girl lingered, waiting for the man who was supposed to come. I stood by the iron door, hoping for an angel in the form of a music lover to give me one of his extra tickets.

The girl didn’t have a hat on, and the ends of her curly hair were marked by dew-like raindrops, reflecting all different colours in the lights. I didn’t look at her long. I didn’t want to make my interest so obvious. But when she walked past me I saw a pretty, thin white and graceful form. A straight nose and deep eyes. I was absolutely sure she kept two tickets in the handbag she carried by her side, and I asked her for one.

But she said something I wasn’t expecting.
“Do you want to take a walk with me?”

I was twenty-eight, an amateur writer and an amateur romantic, and I was in love with an amateur singer who was becoming more and more well-known after a string of competitions and concerts. She was pretty too, but there was one thing we did not share. She didn’t like classical music. And so I always went to the Municipal Theatre alone, even though I had to go to all those concerts of hers that I hated.

The girl in the pink jacket was a little confused when I had a hard time giving her an answer. But in a few minutes, we were walking side-by-side down Trang Tien Street and around Hoan Kiem Lake.

The city was beautiful and quiet. After some moments of silence, I said, “You’re waiting for somebody, but he hasn’t shown up, no?”

“I’m waiting for my husband,” she said. “This happens all the time. It’s no problem. I’m used to this sort of thing.”

“And to get even with your husband, you’ve decided to go for a walk with me, a total stranger.”

She didn’t say anything. I felt awful for what I had just said and I didn’t say anything either. She was strange, like something out of a work of fiction. She wasn’t easygoing or adventurous. There was something very pure about her, and very serious. Why did this married woman ask me to take a walk with her? Did she want something? Who was she and what did she need from me?

The truth was I was very happy just to be with her, a beautiful Ha Noi girl. I didn’t spend too much time agonising over any of these questions.

We dropped by Thuy Ta coffee shop and had ice cream. It was 10.30 when we got back to the theatre. I offered to take her home, but she refused.

Then she held out her hand and I touched it. So small and soft and warm. It was the first time I had touched anything like it.

“You’re lovely. All this time together and you haven’t asked me one stupid question. I like people like that. And I like you. If you come to the theatre again, I’m sure we’ll meet. So goodbye and thank you.”

She went and stood at the corner of the theatre and a moment later, a black sedan came by and took her home. She was a strange girl without a name. And I was just a strange man without a name as well.

We did talk about some things. She told me her husband was an important government official, twenty-five years her senior. Her parents forced her to marry him. The fact that she didn’t love him didn’t bother her so much as the fact that he made her feel so low. She came from a well-educated family, but her husband didn’t understand her. He didn’t respect her or her work. (I asked her about her job, but she didn’t answer). When we said goodbye, I felt completely in love, even though we hardly knew that much about each other.

A week later, I saw a production of Giselle staged by a French director at the Municipal Theatre. And there she was, not in front of the theatre but right on stage, Giselle, a woman who had to suffer so much before she could find happiness. The playbill said her name was Le Trinh. She had graduated from the Soviet Union’s most famous ballet school in the very city I had studied in years before. I was amazed and moved and I kept my eyes close on that magnificent goddess throughout the evening. This woman had actually asked me to go for a walk with her just a few days before and I had actually touched her hand.

After the performance, I stood out of sight in front of the theatre and I saw her, in the same overcoat, with the same tall man in a black suit taking her to the same black sedan. I could only sigh.

I walked down the street, following the same path we had walked the other day. The night sky was clear and marked with stars. I stood forever by the The Huc Bridge on Hoan Kiem Lake, feeling the vague sense of love. This love was quite different from the love I felt for the amateur singer. It was a transcendental love, touched with a feeling of guilt. She was, after all, a married woman.

A few days later, I went to the theatre for a Beethoven concert, which included the first and sixth symphonies and the Coriolan. This time I had a ticket.

As I was entering the theatre, I saw her in jeans, leather shoes and a large woolen pullover. She had run here apparently. Her face was badly-lined and she was panting.

“Good evening, Le Trinh,” I said, trying to hide my emotions. “You’re not with your husband tonight?”

We walked along the street and stopped by Thuy Ta again for some coffee instead of ice cream. We talked about our days in the Soviet Union and this made us feel closer. But we didn’t say anything about our private lives. I took her back to the theatre only a few minutes before her husband showed up to take her home.

In the following months, we had many walks together. She let me hold her hand, but that was it. Sometimes she asked me about my girlfriend and we talked about my relationship as casually as we could.

Did she love me? Or was this just some rich beautiful lady’s game? Sometimes, it was awful to be with her. But I contained myself. She was married, and that was that. I kept a rose with me, but I never had the courage to give it to her.

Then for a long time, she wasn’t around, either on stage or in front of the theatre. Something strange was happening. I found out her husband had been arrested (God knows why) and was in some Central Highlands prison. She had gone to look after him.

I didn’t hear anything more about Le Trinh afterwards. Everything was gone, including my love for her. I got married and had a child. My life was smooth and I had nothing to complain about. I went to the Municipal Theatre on a regular basis and enjoyed any number of concerts and ballets. But I missed Le Trinh. I felt sorry for what had happened to her. I wondered where she was now and how she was doing.

One day, I got a letter from America.

I’m sure you don’t remember me. I’m Le Trinh, the woman who walked with you so many times around Hoan Kiem Lake some years ago.

Her style was natural and honest.

Now that I am so far away from you, it’s a little easier for me to tell you these things. I loved you! I loved you so much on those days we went for walks together and on those days we didn’t meet. I didn’t want to let you know these things, because I was married and you were still in love. Though I loved you, I couldn’t forget that I was married and that I had a duty to the idea of marriage. Besides, I couldn’t rob you from the girl who loved you and whom you loved. Those days we had together were some of the happiest in my life.

Even though I didn’t love him, I devoted my life to my husband until he died after three years in prison. I went to America afterwards as a refugee with some friends. I have a husband and a child, almost everything, except love. You’re my only love. If I had any courage to fight the prison of society’s social principles, I would have come to you.

Now that I’ve written this, I have no other wish to disclose my secret feelings. I didn’t want to and I tried not to write about these things, but I’ve failed.

Please forgive me,

Le Trinh

P.S: Please don’t write. There is no need. It will only make me suffer more.


That letter was dated 1989, fifteen years since I last saw her.

In May 2000, I visited the States with my wife. Going by the address on the envelope, I went to Le Trinh’s house. I went alone, of course. I didn’t want to meet her or talk to her. I simply wanted to see the house where she lived, from afar. It was a small house, as normal as any of the suburban houses in North Carolina. It was completely shuttered, but for two windows covered with thin white blinds. I walked in front of the house. I sat on a tree stump on the front lawn, and smoked a cigarette. Then I went back to my hotel.

I got a letter from America last month. Only a few lines in a man’s handwriting.

According to the deceased’s wishes, I would like to inform you that my wife, Mrs Le Trinh, died on ... of a heart attack. She asked me to tell you that she did see you sitting in front of our house, smoking, two years ago.

John Nguyen Van Bach


This is the whole story of Le Trinh, which I am sure I would never have written if her husband had not sent me that letter. I have nothing more to say, other than if I am ever in the States again, I will find her grave and place a rose on it, the rose I had never had the courage to give to her.
 

Cập nhật ( 30/10/2006 )
 
The old man and the piano
Người viết: Thái Bá Tân   
15/10/2006


By THAI BA TAN
Translated by HOANG TUY


The atmosphere was cosy and homely. Like the old woman in the large-size reproduction of Young girl at the piano by Paul Cezanne that adorned the wall, she quietly sat in the deep soft-leather armchair and played the piano. A lazy grey cat was sleeping at her feet, its head on her feet covered by woollen socks. From time to time, it stretched itself, opened its mouth in a wide yawn, and went back to sleep, cuddled up.

It was early spring and a bit cold. Though she was at home, she wore, as usual, a long dark old-fashioned silk robe. Her appearance was striking – a fine nose and small thick lips framed by an oval face. A large beauty spot enhanced her gracefulness. Her small round spectacles (also old-fashioned) were suspended on her nose. She usually looked over the lenses, rather than through them. Despite the rather deep wrinkles on her face and the silver curled hair, it was obvious that she must have been a beautiful woman from a well-to-do traditional family. If one had to choose an original Hanoian, typical of the old intelligentsia, both refined and conservative, it would be her. It seemed that the new, pragmatic and bustling life outside did not affect her and the small room in which she had lived for almost seventy years in the least. The room and its furniture were ancient and quiet, like their owner. She was one of the very few pianists who stayed on with the revolution after the liberation of the capital city; she was the first teacher at the Hanoi Conservatory. She had taught many generations of artists. Some had won prizes at international contests. She had retired from work a few years ago with the title of "People’s Teacher" and "Emeritus Artist." Her husband was an army officer who had laid down his life at Khe Sanh. They had no children.

She’d been living for a long time with her cat and her piano, an old and aristocratic Bekker like her. Few visitors called on her. She liked that. Twice every week, on Tuesday and Saturday, she gave piano lessons to her sister’s granddaughter, a ten-year-old girl with a great aptitude for music. She wished to train her and make her talent blossom. But the girl like to chew gum while learning. And she preferred jazz to Mozart or Schubert. The old woman did not utter a word, but she felt sad. She was sad because many of her students went every night to hotels or bars to play the piano for gruff eaters. She also received former students who occasionally came to see her, especially on March 8 or November 20 (Vietnamese Teacher’s Day). Then it was the old man who was playing the piano in front of her at this moment. Not an invited guest. He came in the 15th of every lunar month. Why on the 15th? She did not know or ask. He did not either, it had just happened that way a few times and then became a habit which had lasted for 20 years or so now.

He was a worker (some called him an artist) who tuned piano strings. And he was the best in Hanoi. He came to fix her piano regularly, despite the fact that she seldom played the piano these days, and the strings did not need to be adjusted. But he continued to come, and it did not vex her one bit. They were friends since their youth. And the piano was the bridge linking them. He would make many adjustments before deciding the tone was just right. Then, slowly, he would place his tools in his box, and at the same pace, begin to play For Elise by Beethoven, a sad piece of music that the celebrated musician had written for Elise in a hopeless declaration of love. Then came a piece by Chopin, Sadness. Only those two pieces. She did not know why, and never asked. After he finished playing the two pieces, carefully put the lid on the piano, and with a duster wiped it until it shone. Then he sat near her and drank tea, exchanged a few pleasantries, and left for home. He was very courteous, taking off his old felt hat and bowing low.

But today seemed to be an exception. After the two immutable pieces of music, he played Nocturne by Chopin, and then Farewell No 26 by Beethoven. She was very surprised, but continued listening silently, not raising her eyes from the knitting needles. He did not play very well. It was not amateurish, but it was not professional either. Born to a bourgeois family under the French, he had learned piano in Paris with her. She was a talented student and steadily advanced, while he, after many ups and downs, accepted that he would not become a great artist, and chose the career of a piano tuner, although very few people consented to do this and job did not bring in much money. He did it simply because he could not live without the piano. If he could not play himself, he could take care of it for others to play. And he was happy with it. And now, playing a long and difficult piece like Farewell, he felt a bit embarrassed. The old Bekker, a grand piano, which occupied nearly half of her room, groaned under his old fingers. The white keys which had turned a yellowish ivory, danced reluctantly. Their notes were not clear and distinct. By force of habit, she stopped knitting, knocked the side of the chair with the needles, and then spoke out aloud as if to a student who’d not learnt his lesson: "Forte! Forte!" or "More sentiment! Slow down! Slow down!" He obediently followed her instructions, stumbled a few times, and finally stopped playing. He turned towards her.

"Your piano is too old!" He gave a long sigh. It was a good piano that her parents had bought for her from France. As she was an old lecturer at the Conservatory, she had been many times offered a new one, but she’d refused. "And you are not old, are you?" she reacted, half derisively, half critically. As if the piano had been wronged. "I’m old. And you, too. What must happen will happen." He sighed again. "You have stopped giving lessons for a few years. Now it is my turn. Today is the last day I come to tune the piano. Do you know for how many years you and I have been attached to it?"

Surprised, she stopped knitting and answered: "Nearly fifty years. For the last time? Why?" "Because I am finished. That ‘s right. Because of my age. It seems that it had gone wrong long ago. But out of pity, out of deference for me, they did not say anything. Last month, the Opera House did not ask me to tune the Steinway for a Dutch pianist. I guessed that something had gone wrong. Only yesterday did I hear by chance that my ears were no longer sharp, and I had tuned the strings wrongly. It turns out that they asked young Ha to fix the strings again at the Opera, the Musicians’ Association, the Voice of Vietnam studio, and the concert room of the Conservatory. (Ha used to be his apprentice who’d been sent to the Czech Republic for a one-year refresher course, and had replaced him to take care of pianos in the Conservatory. However it was his responsibility to tune the pianos for special occasions.) You know I have to depend totally on my ears. And as they are failing now, I am out of work. Deaf Beethoven could compose music because he could hear it in his head. I need to hear the actual sounds distinctly. Maybe, it is also true that you also kept silent after I tuned this piano wrongly the last time I came here out of pity. Isn’t that so?

She kept silent for a while, then answered in an undertone: "No. I found it correct."

She looked at the old man with sorrow. She did not have the courage to tell the truth. She knew, not only last month, but long before, that his very sensible ears had begun to fail. However, she did not want anyone else to touch her beloved piano. She understood the pride he took in doing this, and the love he had for his work. It was his happiness and raison d’etre for living. For more than 50 years his passion for the piano had been undiminished. Besides, he did not do anything else to earn a living. Society needed him just like he needed those pianos to live. For all these years, people saw him ride on a battered bicycle to the Conservatory at O Cho Dua, to the gymnasium of the Dancing school at Mai Dich, and at concert halls in the city. Many times he was taken by car or by plane to a distant city to tune a piano. Usually, after the work was done, he stayed on for a few days to enjoy the achievements of his labour. He would proudly and happily listen to the artists’ performance, or gaze at ballerinas dancing on their toes to the sounds of the piano that he had tuned to perfection. He would be surprised and guilty at the slightest fault that his sharp ears could detect.

Over the past ten years, as the country opened to the outside world, many bars and hotels vied with one another to buy expensive pianos and hire students from the Conservatory. Those pianos needed regular maintenance. And as a rule, they invited him to do it. But he usually asked Ha or his friends to do it for him, though the fee was much higher. For them, it was some nonsensical work to be done by old and retired people. To do them justice, few outsiders could understand the value of his work. But this was not the case with true artists. They set great store by him, and regarded him a master. After a performance many world famous pianists had sought him out, shaken hands and thanked him. The small gifts that they gave was a prized collection that was given pride of place in his house.

Like her, he lived alone. In fact, he had lived by himself all his life. Nobody knew why, and he never explained. Rumour had it that he loved her, very deeply. But as she was a success and a beauty, she was rich, and he.... He knew his fate and never declared his love. People asked both of them whether it was true, but they always smiled instead of replying. They never raised the question themselves. For so many years they were want to treat each other as friends and it seemed they were content thus.

"And what do you intend to do. Without fixing the pianos, what will you do?"

"I don’t know. Perhaps I cannot live in Hanoi. The pianos here sadden me.

I have a relative in the midlands of Phu Tho. I intend to spend the rest of my life there, enjoying gardening and breeding hens. That’s all right, isn’t it? What do you think?"

"I think you suffer from some mental disorder. Not only is there a problem with your ears, but also with your brain." She was smiling, but her heart was not fully in it. "Do you think that it will be easy to live in the countryside after living all these years in the capital?

"You will see".

"It is up to you. But is this why you just played Farewell?"

"Yes."

"But you played badly and stopped mid-way."

"That right." He answered sadly. "Because I did not play it for a long time, I’d forgotten. And it is so difficult."

"When are you leaving?"

"Next week. I have made all the arrangements. Today I come here to bid you farewell."

They sat in silence.

"I want to ask you this. All these years you’ve only played the For Elise and Sadness. Why?"

"Haven’t you ever guessed?" He asked softly, not looking up at her.

"Never." She answered. "And why should I? One should tell openly what one thinks, isn’t it better?"

They fell into silence again. The silence lasted longer than before. Finally, he spoke, hesitatingly.

"Could you play any piece of music for me? You’ve never played something special for me."

She raised her eyebrows, but did not say anything. She stood up, walked to the piano and sat down, every movement carrying aristocratic grace. It was as though in front of her was not her old friend, but the knowledgeable audience of the Opera. She placed her wrinkled but fine hands on the keys of the piano that had turned from white to ivory, her head proudly tilted back. The ancient piano vibrated with strong and distinct notes. It was amazing that such a small and old woman could produce such strong and wonderful sounds. She played with passion, her eyes half closed, swept away by that grand, melodious and attractive music.

He recognised it immediately. Prelude and Fugue No 29 by Bach. It was a piece of music difficult to perform, both technically and emotionally. It was this that he had failed during the exam at the Paris Conservatory that chilly winter. All connoisseurs loved this piece of music. For him, it was the apogee not only of Bach’s music, but also of piano music itself.

She had finished the grand Prelude and shifted to the lyrical Fugue, the best part of the piece. The music was intertwined, and responded to each other like unfinished messages of love. The pure and sacred notes enchanted him, and his eyes were filled with tears, from when he did not know. He started, wishing she had not seen his tears, lost in the music she was creating.

***

A month later, on the fifteenth day of the lunar month, he returned from Phu Tho and came to see her.

"How is your business over there?" She asked did not seem to be surprised at his return.

"It is as usual. Everything is all right. What about you?"

"What change can I have? Didn’t you bring your tools with you?"

"No. I missed Hanoi so much, I missed the piano so much. But I intend to stay here for one day then I must go back there."

"It would be regrettable."

"Why so? What is wrong with your piano?" He sighed. "I’m sorry that I can no longer lend you a hand. My ears have gone wrong, as you know. Let me tell young Ha... "

"No, your ears are as good as before," she cut in. "Moreover, my piano has got used to your hands. It is too old and weak. It should be given regular care. Without you, it seems it is not itself. Haven’t you ever thought of that?"

He was at a loss. She stepped forward and looked straight into his eyes. Her voice was very serious as she spoke. "I have a suggestion. If you think it all right you can accept it, and if not, you can reject it. It is up to you. My piano needs fixing every day. To save time, you could stay here to do that. What do you think?"

He understood. It was a great surprise, he kept silent for a while, then said hesitatingly: "But your piano and I are old. I think that it will not be proper to do so... "

"Nonsense again! Although your ears are good, your brain is sometimes out of order."

And as if to spare him the embarrassment, she sat down at the piano, as aristocratic as ever.

"What did you play just now? I have never heard it before." He asked when she finished.

"That was the The old man and the piano. I have composed it for you. It was an impulse. This is the first time I have composed music. It’s amateurish and is composed under force of circumstances. The old man is you, a mentally disturbed but pleasant old man. And the piano is: you can guess. The old man and the piano is an interesting name, isn’t it ?"

 

Cập nhật ( 30/10/2006 )